


Side to Side

by rayedictator



Series: That Modern One Piece AU [3]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-18
Updated: 2016-11-18
Packaged: 2018-08-31 19:14:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8590345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayedictator/pseuds/rayedictator
Summary: aka Stupid, Sexy Usopp Part TwoReading other entries in the series not necessary





	

**Author's Note:**

> This was not what I planned on posting next I swear. Maybe next time I will post something of substance. 
> 
> 1.) Another fic where I make it obvious that I have a big fat crush on Usopp  
> 2.) Luffy would love DNCE. Fight me.  
> 3.) This is really only rated M for the conversation at the end not for any actual actions so don't get your hopes up (maybe one day...)  
> 4.) Yes this is named after the Ariana and Nicki song  
> 5.) Usopp and Luffy would totally be those guys that wear unfunny graphic t-shirts you can buy online

Usopp riffled desperately through his dresser drawers. He knew it was laundry day, but did he really not having any clean pants? He couldn't even consider a pair of pants in the hamper, covered in grease from the shop as they were. He was considering even asking to borrow a pair of Luffy's pants that probably wouldn't fit him when he found a pair of jeans at the bottom of a drawer.

  
“A-ha!” Usopp cried victoriously, pulling them out.

  
They were old and he struggled a bit to get them on, but he was able to button them so that was good enough. Usopp slipped on his “I for one welcome our insect overlords” t-shirt he picked out earlier and finally left his room.

  
“I'm going to class,” Usopp called to Luffy, assuming he heard him through Body Moves blasting from his stereo.

  
Usopp slipped on his sandals and shouldered his backpack.

  
He walked the ten minutes to campus, but something was strange. It felt like he was being watched, but every time Usopp looked around him he didn't see anyone looking at him.

  
Then to add to the weirdness he ran into Bartolomeo who burst into tears at the sight of him. Bartolomeo was pretty weird, but still that seemed excessive.

  
He ran into Kaya also on her way to a class and even she started giggling at him.

  
“What? What's so funny?” he asked.

  
“Nothing, it's nothing,” she insisted, “I have class. Call me later! After you see Sanji.”

  
She hurried off and Usopp was as confused as ever. Why would he specifically call her after seeing Sanji?

  
Usopp decided he was going to shrug off the start of this weird day and went to his class, a general requirement he shared with Nami. His plan was ruined when Nami laughed at him until she was blue in the face.

  
“What? What is happening to everybody today?” he asked, slamming his backpack on the table. It was a bit loud though and he felt guilty afterwards.

  
“I'd tell you, but then you'd miss class,” Nami said. How ambiguous.

  
Usopp sighed and sat down. “I'm already over today,” he bemoaned, “I think I'll go to the Baratie after class today. Sanji won't laugh at me when I'm down.”

  
That just caused Nami to laugh so loud she was practically shrieking.

  
Usopp glared at the front of the classroom, hoping the professor would hurry up and get here already.

 

* * *

 

 

The sound of breaking dishware was very uncommon in the Baratie. It was obvious why considering how badly the waiter that dropped a tray of dirty dishes was being chewed out by Zeff.

  
Sanji wasn't paying it much attention though, unlike those busybodies Patty and Carne. It was between the lunch and dinner rush and he was enjoying the break.

  
While half-listening the the waiter beg forgiveness, another one came in and called for Sanji.

  
“Someone is asking for you,” he informed him.

  
“Thanks,” Sanji said and meandered his way out of the kitchen.

  
He really had no idea which of his friends it could be at this time and since he didn't know who he was looking for it took a minute to see Usopp sitting in the waiting area.

  
A possibly way-too-big grin spread across Sanji's face. “Hey, what's up?” he asked.

  
His grin faltered when he saw Usopp look up to him with distressed eyes and a slightly trembling lower lip.

  
“I almost got hit by a car!” Usopp blurted out.

  
“What?!” Sanji shouted suddenly angry, “Where is it? I'll go kick their ass.”

  
“It's a car Sanji,” Usopp said, “I'm not even sure what color it was and it disappeared really fast. I think it was an accident too. The car was just suddenly bumped up on the curb in front of me while I was walking. The car isn't the issue though, this day has just been a mess.”

  
Sanji calmed himself down. “What happened?”

  
“I don't know! Everyone has been weird!” Usopp said, “It feels like everyone is staring at me and Bartolomeo cried when he saw me and Kaya and Nami laughed and I almost got hit by a car and I'm so paranoid I'm worried I caused that waiter to drop those plates. And I came here because I wanted to see you after this shit day.”

  
Sanji knew he probably shouldn't be giving Usopp heart eyes at his place of work, but it was already taking all of his willpower not to tackle his boyfriend at that statement.

  
“I'm sorry your day sucked,” Sanji said, sitting next to Usopp so he could hug him.

  
“You look kinda happy though,” Usopp said suspiciously.

  
“Because you're cute,” Sanji explained, causing Usopp to roll his eyes, “Want me to walk you home? So I can protect you from cars?”

  
“You have work,” Usopp said, firmly.

  
“I can get an evening off,” Sanji said, “What's the geezer going to do? Fire me?”

  
“Skimping on work? I'm disappointed Sanji,” Usopp said, “But I know you're going to insist.”

  
Usopp stood up and Sanji slipped off the bench to the floor in shock.

  
“You okay?” Usopp asked, kneeling to help Sanji up.

  
“I know what the problem is,” Sanji said, taking Usopp's hand only to sit back down on the bench.

  
“What?”

  
“I know why your day was weird,” Sanji clarified, “What's with the jeans?”

  
“Jeans?” Usopp looked down, “It's laundry day and these were the only clean pair I had. They're way tighter than I'm used to or like, but I didn't have any options.”

  
“Did you look in the mirror before you left?” Sanji asked, keeping his eyes on Usopp's despite the temptation.

  
“Of course, but I didn't-” Usopp stopped, suddenly looking very annoyed, “Is this about my butt again?”

  
“It's a work of art,” Sanji said, almost eagerly.

  
“I almost got hit by a car!” Usopp said, pointedly.

  
“Some people are weak,” Sanji said with a shrug. He was still kinda mad his boyfriend almost got ran over, but if it was because he had such a nice ass Sanji could at least understand that.

  
“I'll go tell the geezer I'm taking off early,” Sanji said, standing on still unsteady legs.

  
“You don't need to come home with me now that I know the world isn't going mad,” Usopp said.

  
Sanji already ran back into the kitchen like his ass was on fire and came back a second later, still running.

  
“He's pissed,” Sanji explained, grabbing Usopp's hand and dragging him outside.

  
They stopped running a few buildings down and Sanji put his arm around Usopp's shoulders casually.

  
“You really didn't have to walk home with me,” Usopp repeated, “I really don't get how my ass could cause my day to go so wrong.”

  
“That's good because the moment you finally get it you'll become too powerful,” Sanji said, “Also I'm not walking you home to protect you now. I'm doing it because I really want to eat you out.”

  
Usopp blushed crimson. “Sanji,” he said through gritted teeth, “I have to do the laundry. And I mean really have to. I'm not going through another day like this again.”

  
“You can still do the laundry after.”

  
“If I let you anywhere near me you're not going to let me leave my bed until tomorrow morning, you fiend.”

  
“Sounds good though doesn't it?” Sanji asked, “We could totally do it too. Just take like a ten minute break in between and switch who tops and who bottoms.”

  
“Do my laundry and maybe I'll consider it.”

  
“I'll do your laundry for the rest of our lives.”

  
Usopp couldn't help but smile a little at least at the sentiment.

 

Realization suddenly struck Usopp and he sighed, pulling out his phone.

  
“What are you doing?” Sanji asked.

  
“I have to call Kaya.”

 

 


End file.
